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Posted by Hesh Goldstein

There's been a lot of sh*t talk around my agency, Method Box, about this Virus book Gyro Worldwide put out a few weeks ago. Over here at AdPricks, Hesh is all about it, but I just gotta call him out on this one. Virus is probably the biggest piece of bullsh*t to get published since that James Frye guy came out with A Million Little Pieces.

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Posted by Geoff Howser

Really, if I see another ad that has absolutely nothing to do with what it's trying to sell I might actually have a heart attack. I'm really not kidding. It would be my fourth, and after my triple bypass last year, most likely my last. Seriously JWT London, why the hell would you make an ad for a corporate bank that spends all but the last two seconds of the spot?98.6%, I did the math myself?talking about Eco terrorism, police brutality, and the logging industry? This makes no sense to me.

The copy that comes on the screen at the end of the spot, "We recognise how people value things differently. So what we learn from one customer helps us better serve another," doesn't come close to bringing the whole thing together. And the random wild bear cameo at 36 seconds into the thing, what the hell? Advertising people. Listen up. You gotta stay within the context of the message you're trying to get across or your ad is gonna stink worse than a pile of fresh dog sh*t. Stop killin' me.

Posted by Hesh Goldstein

It's here. Crispin Porter & Bogusky / Microsoft's answer to two years of Apple's "Mac vs PC" ad campaign. In the first spot of the $300 million campaign, Jerry Seinfeld goes shoe shopping with Bill Gates. According to Brad Brooks, corporate VP-Windows consumer product marketing at Microsoft, it's just a "teaser ad," meant to "get the conversation going." Well Brad, I guess if you want everyone talking about how much your ad sucked then I owe you a "kudos."

Pay attention Crispin Porter. This spot is weird for weird's sake. There are no redeeming qualities that transcend the weirdness. It's not funny. It's not smart. Nothing. It's also dated as hell. It's just plain bad. I'm curious to see where you all take this campaign from here. I guess it's a good idea to start out at rock bottom: you can only go up from here.

Posted by Hesh Goldstein

As written-up in The New York Times, October 20th will see the US opening of Chanel's most ambitious advertisement ever: a 7,500-square-foot temporary art gallery designed by London architect Zaha Hadid. Mobile Art as it has been named, will serve as a futuristic-looking gallery space for 15 pieces of artwork created by 15 "hot" contemporary artists and influenced by the design of one particularly famous Chanel handbag.

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Posted by Geoff Howser

I'm not saying that marketers don't come up with really stupid ideas every single day that the big 'ole orange sun pulls itself out of bed and rises up over the hazy horizon. I am saying that in the time since man invented marketing, Right Guard's latest innovation is the stupidest idea that has ever been come up with on any day that big 'ole sun pulled itself up over the hazy horizon. Placing advertisements in people's armpits? Definitely the worst media buy ever.

Hey Dr. Scholl's, I'm taking bids on the bottom of my feet right now. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that Right Guard is actually considering throwing a lot of money into pitvertising; I'm sure they're thinking they'll get people talking about it and blah, blah, blah. Thing is, this is just plain stupid. Please Right Guard, bring back Hulk Hogan. This pitvertising sh*t is totally uncivilized.

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Posted by Hesh Goldstein

There's no doubt that Big Spaceship's recent bitch and moan over BBDO's success at Cannes for their HBO "Voyeur" campaign brings to light the changing nature of the advertising business. With increasingly complex campaigns involving a large number of specialists, notable campaigns these days often utilize the creative resources of several shops. Big Spaceship's public outcry has gotten a lot of people talking about how award shows need to restructure the rules to allow for shared credit among collaborators, but I believe the problem isn't with the award shows?who gives a crap about trophies anyway??but rather lies within the industry structure itself.

The heyday of the ultimate behemoth ad conglomerate is kaput. They've become more parts talent scout than anything else. Sure they've got their little pod of creative people. But why should their clients be paying out the ass for something they can get from a smaller ad shop for way less money and without all of the creative constipation that characterizes the bureaucratic nature of the oversized advertising consortiums? Maybe we need a new kind of shop purely devoted to coordinating work between creative agencies. Let's specialize and diversify instead of congealing into a giant blob of corporate unwieldiness.

Posted by Hesh Goldstein

When it comes to having a successful website, we all know it's all about getting the "hits." The more traffic you get the better. All the giants out there, the Classmates.coms and the Googles and the KaZaAs, they all get lots of traffic and they make a lot of money. You can have the flashiest flash on the Internet and if you aren't getting hits, you're website is worth less than my ex-wife. So how do you get the hits? With tactics... Traffic Tactics. Put a strain on your autoresponder with the hot flow of leads! Traffic Tactics Seriously web-inclined people, this is the stuff fortunes are made of right here. Whether you've got a weblog or you run a chat room, whether you pedal prescriptions or run a legitimate website, you need hits! In just six volumes, Stef Grandgi will tell you how to "explode your sales volumes."

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Posted by Hesh Goldstein

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Posted by Imran and Ishrad

So the other day I get my invite to the McCann Worldgroup Party. Whatever, no big deal. I've been going to that party since Marion Harper took over the company from H.K. McCann himself in 1948. The party is legendary. I mean, if I told you half the stuff I've seen go down at this shindig your head would explode.I mean, if I told you half the stuff I've seen go down at this shindig your head would explode. In '65 I walk in the bathroom at the Savoy in London and David Oglivy is literally on fire, passed out in an open stall with a lit cigarette and an almost empty bottle of single malt. Or just a couple of years ago, some young jackass from Saatchi & Saatchi Hong Kong?yeah I know, most of them are dicks?was half-in-the-bag and tried to foxtrot with an ice sculpture of Barbra Streisand. He went right over the balcony into a koi pond. They had to drain the whole thing the next day. Anyway, point is this thing is not to be missed.

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Posted by Hesh Goldstein